What is my life like living with MS? My symptoms come and go, so I never know how I will feel each day. This is my unique story.
There is a lot of pain — nerve pain, which is the absolute worst. My skin feels like a third-degree burn, but there is nothing there. Sometimes a small patch, sometimes my entire body. It comes on in the evening, and all I can do is go to bed and try not to move.
Headaches. I have headaches every single day. Some are manageable and some are so bad I throw up.
I get severe muscle spasms in my legs, which are extremely painful and make it difficult to walk.
There is widespread pain. Everything hurts. I imagine it is what being hit by a car may feel like. My joints, back, arms, legs — everything hurts.
My legs are weak, heavy and wobbly, which causes me to trip. I don’t always fall, and the “almost falls” do more harm. I often have pulled muscles, rolled ankles, bumps and bruises.
Vertigo. I have it every night and wake up every morning to waves of nausea.
Here is an interesting symptom, internal tremors. When I lay in bed trying to sleep, my legs feel like they are vibrating. Sometimes it’s so bad it feels like an earthquake.
I also have an electric shock sensation that travels down my spine when I look down.
Temperature intolerance. Heat triggers fatigue, dizziness, nausea, and my hands go numb. The cold causes muscle spasms in my legs. Once my body returns to a normal temperature, the symptoms resolve.
The most debilitating symptom is fatigue. It is not like being tired. It is all-encompassing and never goes away no matter how much rest I get.
My treatment is an IV infusion, an immune suppressant every six months.
I travel to an infusion centre in the city and am there for around five hours. I am sick for 4 to 5 days after. A small price to pay to keep this beast at bay.
One of the many frustrating aspects of this disease is that most of the symptoms listed above are invisible to others. That makes it very hard for many to understand.
MS has taken a lot from me but it has also given me a whole new perspective on life.
Having my dog Finn by my side makes everything seem okay, even on my worst days. There may be no cure, but I will fight as hard as I can.
Lindsay Waite is a 麻豆社国产photographer, MS survivor and fur mom to Finn.
