AYACUCHO, Per煤 (AP) 鈥� The easiest thing might have been to let go. To refresh the flowers at her husband鈥檚 grave and find comfort in retrieving his bones, a milestone in a country where 20,000 people disappeared between 1980 and 2000.
Lidia Flores chose a different path, though: to search for others who also went missing during Peru's most violent period.
鈥淚 can鈥檛 stay calm when others, like I did, are crying,鈥� Flores said from her home in Ayacucho, a Peruvian city whose name translates as 鈥渘ook of the dead鈥� from the Quechua language. 鈥淭hey are searching and I must be there for them.鈥�
Thousands more have , during armed conflicts or . Their wives, mothers and daughters have historically fought for justice, but Flores鈥� case is distinctive because even after finding her husband鈥檚 remains 40 years ago, her loss led her to commit to a greater cause.
For several years, she has presided over the National Association of Relatives of Detained and Disappeared Persons of Peru. Known for its Spanish initials, , it was founded in 1983 and has about 140 members who advocate for truth and reparations.
鈥淪ometimes I feel at ease, but then I wonder, why did this happen?鈥� said Flores, who Peruvians rarely address by name. Most call her 鈥渕ami鈥� or 鈥渕adrecita,鈥� an affectionate Spanish word derived from 鈥渕other,鈥� as if she cared for them all.
鈥淚 won鈥檛 let go because I made a commitment,鈥� she added. 鈥淔or as long as I live, I will demand justice for all and find out why my husband was killed.鈥�
Why did 20,000 Peruvians disappear?
Soon after Flores last saw him alive, Felipe Huam谩n was detained by members of the military dressed as civilians outside his house in July 1984. Flores found his remains a month later, guided by a stranger who saw a corpse matching his description.
Only days had passed since he was thrown down a hill, but stray dogs had gnawed at the remains. Flores took her 2-month-old baby out of her shawl, wrapped what was left of Huam谩n and climbed uphill, her baby in her arms, her husband鈥檚 bones on her back.
She arrived at the prosecutor鈥檚 office and requested a death certificate to bury him, but an official told her: 鈥淗is body is not whole anymore. Throw him into the river or burn what鈥檚 left of him and find your peace.鈥� So she wrapped up the bones, went home and bribed a grave digger to bury Huam谩n at midnight, as she peeked and wept behind a tree.
Stories like hers are part of the aftermath of a brutal fight between the Peruvian government and the (or Shining Path), a Communist organization that claimed to seek social transformation through an armed revolution.
Founded in the 1970s by , the group turned violent a decade later. Older Peruvians still tell tales about donkeys strapped with explosives detonating in crowds, bombs placed under streetlamps to plunge cities into darkness and massacres that wiped out entire families.
The terror, though, was not merely unleashed by the insurgents. The armed forces were equally responsible for deaths and human rights violations.
Hundreds of men 鈥� many of them innocent 鈥� were , often to face torture and execution. Others were slain and buried in mass graves by insurgents seeking to control communities by spreading fear.
Although hundreds of people have disappeared for other motives since then, the said this was the most violent period in Peru鈥檚 history. More than 69,000 people are counted as 鈥渇atal victims鈥� 鈥� about 20,000 classified as 鈥渄isappeared鈥� and the rest killed by insurgents or the military.
鈥淚n many ways, Peru is still dealing with the repercussions of the political violence from the late 20th century,鈥� said Miguel La Serna, a history professor at the University of North Carolina.
鈥淲hole generations of adult men disappeared and that impacted the demographics in these communities. People moved out to escape the violence and some never returned,鈥� he added. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 to say nothing of the social, collective trauma that people experienced.鈥�
A lonely search
Those unsure of what happened to their relatives wandered the streets asking for clues and listened to radio news reports. Every time a discovery of remains was announced, they headed out to those locations and turned over corpses, hoping to spot a familiar face.
鈥淧ig and dogs ate the bodies, but we got used to that,鈥� said Adelina Garc铆a, whose 27-year-old husband, Z贸simo Tenorio, disappeared in 1983. 鈥淚 felt no disgust or fear.鈥�
The couple had just moved from a nearby town to flee the violence from Sendero Luminoso. They thought they would be safe in Ayacucho, where the armed forces patrolled the streets, but soon realized they were wrong.
鈥淚t was tough,鈥� Garc铆a said. 鈥淓very night I thought: Tomorrow we won鈥檛 wake up. Which of them will kill us? The insurgents or the military?鈥�
She was sleeping when soldiers stormed into her home. They dragged Tenorio from their bed, called him a 鈥渢errorist鈥� and took him away. They wrecked their belongings, stole their savings and hit Garc铆a until she lay unconscious on the floor, next to her year-old crying child.
鈥淓ven presidents have told us that it鈥檚 been a long time and we should turn the page, but we can鈥檛 do that,鈥� Garc铆a said. 鈥淲hen a person dies, you hold a wake according to your religion, but for us, there鈥檚 always a question: What if they鈥檙e alive?鈥�
After her husband vanished, a military captain told her that he was taken to Cabitos, an army base where a crematory oven was used to dispose of bodies and more than 130 people were executed. She could never corroborate it, though, so the search continues.
鈥淢y face might be wrinkled, but my heart is strong,鈥� Garc铆a said. 鈥淚鈥檒l keep looking for justice and truth.鈥�
One last goodbye
For relatives with missing loved ones, keeping a spiritual connection brings peace into their lives.
鈥淚 have faith in my dad,鈥� said Luyeva Yangali, who has prayed to her father, Fortunato, since he disappeared near Ayacucho in 1983. 鈥淚 spoke to him at night as I did to God.鈥�
Her mother looked for him at first, but the family moved to Lima after the military tortured her for allegedly aiding insurgents and Yangali took over the task.
鈥淚 was 11 when my family was destroyed and we haven鈥檛 recovered,鈥� Yangali said. 鈥淚 think we never will.鈥�
Despite the work of forensic doctors, prosecutors and organizations like the , only about 3,200 remains have been found. Some now fear that might cut out the government鈥檚 support to keep searching, but many others remain hopeful, watching a handful of Peruvians who finally had a chance to say goodbye.
At a recent restitution ceremony in Ayacucho, Pablo Valerio bid his farewells not to one, but to five of his relatives.
Back in 1984, his parents, two sisters and a brother were slain by members of Sendero Luminoso while Valerio and his younger brother were away studying. They learned about the massacre a month after it happened, when they headed home.
鈥淎s we got close, we were surprised that no one, not even our dogs, was around,鈥� said Valerio, 63. 鈥淚t was all silence. Then we saw our house completely destroyed, burned.鈥�
He found the bodies the next morning, one piled over another inside a pit in which he saw his father鈥檚 hands. Fearing the insurgents might come back to kill him and his brother, they left and 鈥� until now 鈥� haven't had the chance to have a wake.
鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 until the Truth Commission came that we could dig them out,鈥� Valerio said. 鈥淭heir bones were not whole anymore, but we placed them in a little box and brought them here.鈥�
The day before a Mass honoring them at Ayacucho鈥檚 cathedral, forensic experts, prosecutors and Quechua language interpreters comforted more than a dozen relatives who, like Valerio, had a last chance to see their loved ones鈥� remains.
Most of them sobbed. Others held hands and prayed. A few more, like Valerio, who treasures the one and only photo he preserves of his father, whispered to the bones: 鈥淵ou are no longer disappeared, but present.鈥�
鈥淣o one can kill a spirit, so you remain alive.鈥�
____
Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP鈥檚 with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.
Mar铆a Teresa Hern谩ndez, The Associated Press
